Your surrogate is helping create your family—the relationship you build can be one of the most meaningful connections of your life.
Setting Expectations Early
Discuss preferences before matching:
- Communication frequency (daily, weekly, monthly)
- Preferred communication method (text, call, video)
- Level of involvement in appointments
- Post-birth relationship expectations
During Pregnancy
Communication Tips
- Be consistent with check-ins
- Ask about her wellbeing, not just the pregnancy
- Share your excitement appropriately
- Respect her boundaries and privacy
Showing Appreciation
- Send care packages during pregnancy
- Remember her birthday and holidays
- Acknowledge her family and support system
- Express gratitude regularly
At the Birth
- Discuss birth plan preferences in advance
- Respect her wishes for the delivery room
- Give her space to process the birth
- Celebrate her role in your family's beginning
After Birth
The relationship doesn't have to end:
- Send updates and photos (if agreed upon)
- Include her in milestones if welcome
- Maintain the connection your child may value later
- Respect if she needs distance
When It's Challenging
If difficulties arise:
- Work through your agency's support services
- Use professional mediation if needed
- Remember you both want the best outcome
- Focus on the shared goal
Next Steps
GlobalStork helps match intended parents with surrogates who share similar relationship preferences. Create your profile to find your match.