Your surrogate is helping create your family—the relationship you build can be one of the most meaningful connections of your life.
[Image: Intended parents meeting surrogate]
Setting Expectations Early
Discuss preferences before matching:
- Communication frequency (daily, weekly, monthly)
- Preferred communication method (text, call, video)
- Level of involvement in appointments
- Post-birth relationship expectations
During Pregnancy
Did You Know?
Studies show that surrogates who have positive relationships with intended parents report higher satisfaction with their surrogacy experience.
Communication Tips
- Be consistent with check-ins
- Ask about her wellbeing, not just the pregnancy
- Share your excitement appropriately
- Respect her boundaries and privacy
Showing Appreciation
- Send care packages during pregnancy
- Remember her birthday and holidays
- Acknowledge her family and support system
- Express gratitude regularly
At the Birth
- Discuss birth plan preferences in advance
- Respect her wishes for the delivery room
- Give her space to process the birth
- Celebrate her role in your family's beginning
After Birth
Did You Know?
Many families and surrogates maintain lifelong relationships, with some surrogates attending their surrogate children's graduations and weddings.
The relationship doesn't have to end:
- Send updates and photos (if agreed upon)
- Include her in milestones if welcome
- Maintain the connection your child may value later
- Respect if she needs distance
When It's Challenging
If difficulties arise:
- Work through your agency's support services
- Use professional mediation if needed
- Remember you both want the best outcome
- Focus on the shared goal
Next Steps
GlobalStork helps match intended parents with surrogates who share similar relationship preferences. Create your profile to find your match.